The River & The Torch

 

One thing many of my friends may not  know about me is that after finishing my college degree  at Texas A & M -I moved to the Wilderness and back country of Utah. I studied a back country wilderness first responder and EMT course at University of Las Vegas Nevada and trained for a month to live in the wilderness. I then went out for long stents teaching at risk youth how to live with nothing in the middle of the dry unforgiving desert. I spent months that still feel like an entire lifetime in that back country.  The most pivotal point of my travels and training was self discovery during what they called a solo journey. My dad swore I’d never survive without a hair dryer. I survived like the show survivor ...

And it was the best thing I have ever done. 

 

 

The staff would take us into the wilderness and drop us off alone one by one somewhere in the middle

Of the back country. We had no food no water unless we found the river  no source for fire no torch unless we made a bow drill to make fire no filters for drinking water.

 

 Sometimes we literally were hundreds of miles from civilization . It was my  job to figure out where I was, survive by not getting eaten by bears, hiking to safe places for shelter and getting shelter camp set up near water. Water and Fire were the lifeline as long as u could build a shelter all 

You needed -was 

The river

And a torch...

To make the first evening - a success.

 

I was bound and determined and after hanging my bear bag up

In a tree off perimiter of my camp .... 

 

I would need to locate a water source and be able to have created a bow drill and a fire by night time so i could have LIGHT -

To find my way  and stay warm. Also, it’s important to eat a warm meal  in the cold wet temperature drop of the evening after the sun went down the canyons dropped

Below

Freezing.

 

The first thing I remember is being alone without noise. It was eerily and painfully silent at times until late after I settled when the other “noises” began. Sounds I’d never heard, because I had never spent time for this long in the wilderness of Utah alone at night. I noticed how black the night sky could get when overcast and how brilliant the stars glistened when the sky was clear.

The height of the mountains and red rock lifted you up making you feel you could grab a star and bring it down for a goodnight kiss if you wanted. The first night was invigorating .

Yet  so COLLLLLLLD.... I shivered I tossed and turned. The elements taught me patience...

And powerlesssness.

 

At times I was scared to travel around my camp area . The unknown was more fearful for me so I quickly set up a bear bag w food hung high so no bears came.

I loved

The little home base I made once I found the river

And I made a bow drill by hand and got a torch made for the evening so I could see and write with my pencil in my journal. 

 

I used the light as a source of illumination so I could cut dog bane tree apart - peeling back the bark to make natural chord for ties to use for camp

And I also made bracelets when boredom

Creeped in. I ate what I could find , prickly pear, stinging nettle , cooked to perfection on my bow drill fire and I enjoyed the process of working for what I had. I also loved the absence of a watch, an alarm clock, masses of people, concrete jungles...and I liked the simplicity of life being to simply L I V E. No goal

-

Other than  to be present and survive.

 

The life lessons I learned from surviving in UTAH completely on the land and  depending on my own abilities & skill sets taught me what many masters of words have spoken of so many times over the years.

 

It taught me lessons in words so powerful I can’t string together myself a single quote perfect enough-so I’ll

Use others words to convey how I feel.

 

 

 

It taught me

That 

“Life is like the river, sometimes it sweeps you gently along and sometimes the rapids come out of nowhere.” 

- Emma Smith

 

And that honestly  “A river cuts through rock not because of its power but because of its perseverance.”-(Jim Watkins )

 

I read many books laying along the river side.

I healed a broken heart in those red rocks and I learned the beauty of obstacles.I also learned that I could survive anything as long as I had a river and a torch. 

 

 

 Recently, I needed to revisit Utah and the strength it took to survive and I needed to think about the fact that all we need is a river and a torch for any obstacle we must overcome.

 

 

 Texas left my heart broken but it’s worth the beauty of my WILD journey into the unknown...to take risks to know heartache

 

 

So I can KNOW LOVE 

 

And what it’s colors

Look like

 

 

Yet again.

I’m allowing my torch to burn. To light the way to show the brilliant colors of life and love that like a conduit come out in my artwork .

I’m allowing the river of creativity and JOY for living LIFE to the fullest to flow -freely now inviting the beauty of healing and change.

 

I love you all I hope you enjoy the little mini series ;)! It was a labor of love.

 

Here are a few more river and torch quotes that mean so much to me and were pondered on during the creation of these pieces.

I hope they inspire you to ebb and flow like the river ...

And light the way like the torch.

 

“

I am not crushing it right now. But I’m showing up and giving it as much fire as I have each day. Some days it’s a lot and some days it’s not so much.

Just doing the best you can every day you are

Fortunate enough to wake up. Maybe that’s how we should have measured

Efforts all along”-anonymous

 

“We cannot hold a torch to brighten another’s path without brightening our own”

-Ben sweet land